Blue "Heaven" Mountain

May 7:  About half way through our two hour drive, the sun was up and the sky was beautiful.  As I rolled down 78 and the tree covered bluffs sped by, I looked at my son asleep in the passenger seat.  We had shared many of these trips over the years and I realized things were about to change.  Next year he would enter high school and most of these trips he would take without me, on a bus with his coach and teammates.  I would be in the stands, of course, but it would all be different.  The natural course of events was upon us
and a mixture of emotions filled me; melancholy being the primary one.  His wrestling career was just about to take off and here I was, selfishly, a little sad.  Sad because these trips over the years had become about a lot more than wrestling to me.  These trips were about the long, early drives, the stops to eat, the hours in the stands, sometimes talking, more often not.  These trips were fun most of the times, miserable some, but always done together.  These trips had formed a bond between us, a dynamic bond that changed as I learned how to be the parent I wanted to be to him - and not just as a "wrestling parent."  That bond changed on his end to as he grew towards becoming a man.  I hope the bond today is as good for him as it is for me.

I know that as the sun came up and the hills rolled by and we drew closer to Blue Mountain, I looked over at him and I'm not sure if I've ever loved him more.  It was probably a combination of nature's beauty and my "melancholy" state; but it also had a lot to do with both the bond that we developed and what he was about to do.  He was about to compete.  In a difficult sport that had required much time and training from him.  In a sport where he alone faced his competition and dealt with the results.  I knew that win or lose, he would compete well; I had seen that growth in him over the years.  And I was proud of him.

As I ran my fingers through his hair like he was a little child (perhaps an odd sight as he is now 10 pounds heavier than me and has an equal bench press), I realized that I wanted to put these feelings and experiences down.  And other feelings and experiences that we have shared over the past ten years, and yet others that we will share in the future.  Maybe it's just a way to hold on to this a little longer, maybe it's the only way I can take a photo of these moments.  But that's why I started this blog.