Let me first say that I don't think that my two sons abilities are actually that far off from each other. Conor may be a more natural athlete, always having performed well in football, wrestling and baseball from a young age; but Cale really came into his own when he hit puberty, with strength and speed that came out of nowhere and turned him into a real fine football player. Although he was a little small for the positions he played, I always thought he would do well on the gridiron in high school. Unfortunately, he gave it up this past year to concentrate on wrestling, a decision I wasn't too happy with but accepted. But before puberty came along, Cale really had some struggles in athletics.
Conor has had some advantages though. For one, he is larger than Cale and being large while being a good athlete definitely gives you a leg up. He has always wrestled near the top or at the top of the weight classes, which limits his competition. Obviously in football, bigger is better, especially when you still can move well. And in baseball, the big guys tend to hit the ball harder and further; big bats are always in demand. So Conor has traveled much more frequently in those athletic circles that Cale has always aspired to.
But over the years I've come to the conclusion that there is a little more than just the advantages that Conor has in play here. Conor is just more competitive than Cale. From an early age, Conor never took losing well. Now he takes it with with much more, how do I say it, decorum. You will never see him throw a tantrum on the mat or playing field, but he is still not someone you want to be around after a loss. He internalizes it well, but you can still see that six year old that I had to carry out in the hall after a loss in his eyes for a while. Cale, on the other hand, is the same kid win or lose. Ten minutes after a match you would never have known he was out on the mat, win or lose. Two hours after a match, you're just as likely to see him chumming around with a kid that knocked the crap out of him as not.
The kids have taken me through the spectrum - and often in one day. You learn to keep your emotions on an even keel when one minute you're watching your son save his youth wrestling club's 100+ win streak with a dramatic 3rd period pin, and in the next you walk over to the neighboring mat to see the streak snapped as your other son is pinned to clinch the victory for your club's main rival.
But after 16 years of being a parent, I don't think I'd have it any other way. I think the diverse experiences have helped me put my kid's athletic feats in perspective. And I'm not sure who is going to be better off for them. Cale is probably one of the nicest kids I've ever met anywhere. He would give you the shirt off his back and the food off his plate. He also has the ability to roll with the punches and come up smiling. I guess what you want in your kids is to have both - to be competitive with a will to win second to none on the field, and to be a good and large hearted person off the field. I'm not sure that we come out of the womb that way; in fact, I think my boys came out near opposite ends of the spectrum. But I think my goal is to have them meet in the middle. And as they both grow older, I see great evidence of that. I'm very proud of both of them.
Perhaps, by the end of high school, Cale will have some taste of success on the mat at the highest level. He certainly seems committed to the sport and has ability. And perhaps Conor will gain a little humility in the coming year. As a freshman competing at one of the higher weights in high school, I'm expecting it.
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